When you know or believe person is a suffering from domestic abuse, you may be unsure how to help. Do not let your fear of expressing the incorrect thing keep you from seeking out. Waiting for the right words might prevent you from grabbing the opportunity to alter someone's life. Many victims of domestic violence experience loneliness, isolation, and dread throughout their lives. Calling out and having them know you're there for them may be relieving.

How to assist Victims of Domestic Violence?

Use the 07 recommendations below to aid someone in this delicate circumstance. 

Make Time For Them

If you've chosen to contact a cruelty victim, do it during a moment of calm. Getting involved while tempers are rising might be dangerous. Also, allow enough time for whatever reason the victim wants to open up. If the individual decides to express years of suppressed anxiety and fury, you are unlikely to want to terminate the talk because you're handling an additional obligation.

Start a conversation

To address domestic violence, use phrases like "I'm worried about you because...", "I'm concerned about your safety...", or "I've noticed a few developments that concern me...".

Perhaps you've seen an individual donning garments to hide injuries or they've been abnormally silent and reclusive. Both can indicate abuse (T, 2022).

Inform the person that you would remain confidential with any information supplied. Do not try to compel the individual to open up; instead, let the conversation flow naturally.

Listen without judgment

If the individual decides to talk, listen to their tale without passing judgment (ER, 2020), providing advice, or recommending solutions. If you listen, the individual will most likely tell you precisely what they need. Simply give the person a full opportunity to speak.

You can ask inquiries to clarify, but mostly let the client express their emotions and anxieties. You could have been the very first person to whom the perpetrator has entrusted.

Learn the warning signs

Many people try to hide the violence for several reasons, and knowing the indications of domestic abuse may help you help them

Physical signs:

• Black eyes
• Busted lips
• Red or purple markings on the neck.
• Sprained wrists
• Bruises on arms

Emotional signs:

• Low self-esteem
• Extremely apologetic or meek
• Fearful
• Differences in eating or sleeping habits
• Anxious or on edge?
• Substance Abuse
• symptoms of depression
• Absence due to interest in previously appreciated activities and interests
• Talking about suicide

Behavioral signs:

• Become withdrawn or distant
• Terminating arrangements or sessions at the last moment
• Being late frequently
• Excessive privacy about their personal lives
• They isolate themselves from relatives and close associates

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Believe victims of domestic violence

Domestic violence tends to be more about control than rage, therefore the victim is typically the only one who understands the perpetrator's darker side. Others are frequently surprised to hear that someone they know is capable of committing violence.

As a result, victims typically assume that if they tell anybody about the abuse, no one will believe them. Tell the victim that you believe her account. For a victim, finally finding someone who understands their situation can provide a feeling of hope and comfort.

Offer the victim the following assurances:

• I believe you.
• It's not your fault.
• You do not deserve this.
• Validate the victim’s feelings.

Victims frequently express mixed thoughts regarding their spouse and their predicament. These sensations may range from:

• Guilt and Anger
• Hope and Despair
• Love and Fear

If you wish to help, you should support her sentiments by informing her that having these contradictory views is normal. However, it is equally critical that you state unequivocally that violence is unacceptable and that living in dread of physical attack is abnormal.

Some victims may be unaware that their situation is odd because they have no alternative models for relationships and have become accustomed to the cycle of violence. Inform the victim that violence and abuse are not part of healthy partnerships. Without passing judgment, tell them that their circumstance is perilous and that you are concerned about their safety.

Assist your loved one.

Assist the victim in finding help and services. Look up the phone contacts for shelters, social agencies, attorneys, counselors, and support organizations. If available, distribute booklets or brochures about domestic violence.

You'll also want to assist them in obtaining information on any laws governing protective orders/restraining orders and child custody. WomensLaw.org allows you to search for legal information by state.

If the victim requests you to do anything particular and you are capable of doing it, do not hesitate to assist.

If you are unwilling to meet the demand, consider alternative options. Assist individuals in identifying and developing their abilities and assets, fostering self-motivation.

The most essential thing is to communicate to them that you are available at all times. Simply let them understand the best method to contact you if assistance is required. If feasible, volunteer to accompany you to the police station, courthouse, or lawyer's office as moral support.

Assist in developing a safety plan.

Help the victim develop a safety plan that may be implemented if aggression occurs anymore or if they opt to flee the situation. Simply developing a plan might help them comprehend which tasks are required and mentally prepare to do them.

Assist the victim in thinking through each phase of the security plan, considering the risks and advantages of all possibilities and identifying strategies to mitigate the hazards.

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What Not To Do

While there is no correct or incorrect way to support someone who has been the victim of domestic abuse, you ought not to do anything that would exacerbate the situation. Here are several "don'ts" that professionals recommend you avoid.

Don't...

• Attack the abuser. Focus on the conduct rather than the personality.
• Blame the victim. This is what the perpetrator of misconduct does.
• Underestimate the possible threat to the person in question and yourself.
• Promise to help but then fail to follow through.
• Provide conditional assistance.
• Do everything that might incite the abuser.
• Apply pressure on the victim.
• Give up. If they are hesitant to open up at first, remain patient.
• Do whatever to make things more challenging for the sufferer.

Final words

Although your instinct may be to "protect" someone you care deeply from domestic violence, the individual who is being attacked must ultimately decide if (and when) to leave and seek assistance. Bearing this in mind will enable you to continue to support them, regardless of their decision, and continue to offer them a caring yet secure relationship.